© 1989 Don W. King

This essay first appeared in the Presbyterian Journal 79 (May 1989): 3-4.

One of the hardest things for any of us to accept is criticism.

A good friend of mine lost her job recently because, in a fair-minded way, she criticized certain policies that her boss, who is a Christian, was following. In spite of her loyalty, competence and integrity, she was let go. Her boss reacted defensively, and his insecurity is indicative of a deep-seated human antipathy towards criticism. But all of us who claim the name of Christ need to learn how to accept and benefit from criticism.

Many times criticism has spared us disaster. A case in point. My wife criticized my neglect of certain "funny" sounds our car was making. Hoping it would "heal" itself, I resented her comments (although I could hardly hear them above the bumping, grinding, and coughing noises). Finally, I gave in and pulled off the road. Her criticism saved us buying a new engine.

The Bible underscores the value of this kind of criticism: "Like . . . an ornament of gold is a wise reprover to a listening ear" (Proverbs 25:12).

Learning to accept criticism enables us to become aware of glaring imperfections we cannot see, but which are quite clear to others. My friend who lost her job was only trying to prevent her employer from making serious mistakes in employer-employee relationships. She wanted to let him know that a large number of workers were discouraged and unhappy. Unfortunately, he did not see it that way; instead, he felt threatened and reacted in an authoritarian manner.

As Christian we are called upon to listen to the "wise reprover," and not run from unpleasant realities.

Responding rightly to criticism is the best way to build and strengthen Christian character. When we listen to those who are friends enough to criticize our shortcomings, we are bound to gain wisdom and to grow in character.

Although David as king had almost everything he wanted, he wanted and took the one thing he should not have taken: Bathsheba, Uriah's wife. After he had brought about Uriah's death so he could marry Bathsheba, David was approached by Nathan the prophet. Instead of criticizing him outright, Nathan told David a parable about how a rich man had stolen the one lamb of a poor man. David responded by saying that such a man deserved death. When Nathan said, "You are the man," David did not react defensively, looking this way and that to escape the truth. Rather, he fell on his face and asked forgiveness. Only a man of great character could receive such a rebuke and have God refer to him as "a man after his own heart."

Of course the kind of criticism that is valuable is constructive; it does not condemn or prejudge. Jesus spoke clearly against negative criticism, telling us not to judge our brothers lest we be guilty of hypocrisy.

Our ability to accept the right kind of criticism is a measure of our ability to grow. If we believe we are never wrong, never make mistakes, there is little room in our lives for new insights.

A fear of being wrong may be at the root of our unwillingness to listen to others correct us. Our self-image may by myopic and insecure. We are afraid to admit to chinks in our armor, and hide behind the facades of power and pride.

How wonderful it would be to look forward to reaching a state of faultlessness, of being immune from poor judgment, mental error, personal vanity. But I feel sure that if we stood there basking in our glory, a voice would thunder out from above saying, "Hey, your halo is on crooked, and your robe needs pressing. And what about those rumple wings?"

We must learn to accept criticism and grow from it.